Butt - buddies
by Doujin-Maker
Summary: Sasuke just knew it was wrong to accept his Aniki's wish and play babysitter for an eight month pregnant Sakura. ItaSaku/AU/Oneshot


**This little oneshot-ie lurked in my thoughts for over a day, and it's then that I have decided to write it down :D Credits will be listed below, I do not want to spoil the story. This is a oneshot, so I'd appreciate reviews, I'd like to know how each of you feel after reading this.**

**Greetings, peace and have fun! （●＾o＾●）**

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Sakura was frustrated.

Never mind the fact she was forbidden to not, under no matter what circumstances, do any physically exhausting work nor movements, no. Her frustration was not even directed at her nine month leave from work. –_ Pure bless overcame her mind upon the thought of repairing a simple chronic heart failure_ – Sakura's root of deep fury lied in her body. Or better put; she looked like a whale and was not happy about it.

Why, oh why, had her husband to impregnate her and cause her lithe form so much problems. Sakura sighed, her fingers hit chronically the table giving the impression she played the piano. She crossed her legs and was impatiently lulling her feet forth and back.

Sakura's eyes took in her surroundings, for the hundredth time already. When the news of her pregnancy were finally revealed she and Itachi – mostly Itachi - decided to buy a house, of course Sakura was fine with living in their three room luxury apartment right in the middle of Tokyo, but _noo_ Itachi insisted they should organize their life's and make them more _'baby- friendly'_ , for the sake of the unborn fetus.

The pinkette let out another sigh. Hey, she would love her child – she already does – however, being a surgeon had taught her to never get overly attached to situations which were still at stake. Her brows furrowed, she couldn't even count the times a receiving woman was suddenly brought in, with harsh pain in her lower region, only for them to tell the female she has lost her unborn child.

Back to the main problem; her frustration.

Sakura was already in her eight month, which meant she had to wait at least four more weeks to get back to work. See, the rosette was in desperate need for some action. Her eight months were pure torture for her. Itachi bought her at least forty books; already read, Mikoto was desperately trying to teach her how to cook, knit and bake; a big, fat failure. Even Sasuke tried to help Sakura; he took off two months from work in order to provide her some human interactions – because let's face it Itachi is her other half but socializing is not one of his virtues. Naruto wanted to sneak Sakura out for a little 'get together', turned out it was a party, Sakura was overjoyed and had some real fun, of course she only drank water, until Itachi decided to send a special commando and take her, with force, back home.

However, Naruto's little help was four months ago, _ she still needed to hear from him_. Mikoto had to prepare a gala, Itachi was working and Sasuke was still babysitting Sakura, it seemed he found 'The Vampire Diaries' more entertaining though.

The pinkette slammed her head against the table, she had enough of sitting around and looking at color samples. Suddenly, an idea popped into her rosy coloured head; she stood up, took her coat, put on her sneaker – Itachi prohibited her from wearing stilettos the moment she told him about her pregnancy– and casually walked into her living room.

Sakura stood for a few moments in her threshold with slightly raised brows. There, on her couch sat Sasuke; he was leaning frantically forward, his hands were clasped together in front of his mouth, knees a few inches apart, on each an elbow, his eyes concentrated wholly on the TV, face in a complete daze of fascination. Sakura heard a low murmur of _"Stefan, come on don't turn the switch off.." _and she laughed.

Sasuke's head turned in her direction, he glared. The pinkette laughed even harder, her best friend was a hardcore fan of TVD and apparently completely taken in by a continually drowning vampire with a personality switch.

"If you want to unleash your hormones further go to another room. I'm busy as you see." His chicken hair swung in the air and his focus was back on the TV. Sakura took no offence, she knew she would win. A dark grin appeared on her face.

"Sasuke-kun, you and I will go and take a stroll. Now." Said male swung his head back and glared at the female, for the second time already.

"No. Ni-san will have my head."

Sakura wasn't surprised at this. After all, Sasuke _was_ idolizing his brother, going against his dear Aniki was something she saw almost never. Nevertheless, Sakura _would_ win.

"You and I stroll. Or I tell your agency about your TVD addiction." The raven haired male was after all a popular model. Making this information public would ruin his image, _or so she thought_.

Sasuke smirked "It will only raise my popularity. My fans would increase upon that info, I'd be seen as more sympathetic and 'down to earth'." His attention was back at the TV drama.

Sakura_ would_ win.

"Either you move your ass off my couch and come with me _or_" – Sasuke turned his eyes to Sakura, he _knew_ that tone. Whenever she used it nothing _go_ – " I will tell Mikoto-san about the NYI."

Sasuke paled, no! If his mother would be aware of the New York Incident – Naruto dubbed it as the NYI – he would feel her wrath. Nothing was scarier than his mother's wrath, in fact the only person that was able to scare him – apart from his Aniki of course – was his mother. A shudder ran down his spine.

"You wouldn't." She better be bluffing.

"Oh, I think I would." Her hands wandered to her hips, her legs were in a 45 degrees pose and Sasuke knew she would. Crap. He remained silent and was tempted to look at the TV screen – _seemed Elena rescued Katherine but got her head snapped_ , ouch – maybe Sakura woul –

"_I'm waiting._" Sakura was getting impatient, stupid moods.

"Are you sure you are able to walk with your stomach being so bi "– Sakura glared and emitted a feral aura –" ..curvy! I meant curvy and engulfed in feminine beauty!" Stupid Itachi, if he wanted someone to babysit his dear wife, why not do it by himself! Probably scared of Sakura's mood swings.

"I'm pregnant Sasuke, not sick." He had to bite his tongue, refraining himself from adding 'I see no difference, you act the same'.

"Can you wait until the end of – " Sakura growled and her eyes had this dangerous lion spark in them "_Tch_, suit yourself." He took the remote and unwillingly switched the TV off.

The duo walked towards Sasuke's coat and shoes, the female was already set and ready.

He cursed Naruto for his big mouth, why did he had to tell Sakura about their probably most stupidest act ever? Everything was the dobes fault, it was him who suggested they visit a nightclub and get themselves drunk. Sasuke regretted not waking the Hyuuga male back then, maybe he would actually have had some alcohol tolerance. The male sighed; most stupid act ever, certainly.

He remembered the shock and Naruto's cries of agony in the morning after their partying; Neji fell out of the bed upon hearing their shouts and curses.

Sasuke and Naruto had gotten themselves tattoos, not some casual ones, no.

'_Butt-buddies_' tattoos.

The two males had the name of the other tattooed on their skin, not in a casual place either.

But on their right ass cheek, therefore the terms '_ass-brothers', 'butt buddy's_', etc.

Sasuke kicked the door; most stupid act ever. If his mother would get wind of that,_ no_. Sasuke did not want to think about it. Never.

"Hey, no need to kick the door, Sasuke. You can re-watch TVD later." Sakura closed the door and patted it afterwards.

"Hn." As if she needed to tell it to him.

X

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X

"N..No Moegi! You need to take grafts, veins from other parts of the body, then reroute the blood around the clogged artery." Sakura let out a pained breath, _ow_ it hurt like hell! "M..Moegi, we both know you are aware of the whole process, just – " another pained hiss "just focus on the surgery and forget your surroundings!"

The rosette and Sasuke returned hours ago, the walk did nothing to soothe her boredom. Sakura was drinking tea when a panicking intern has suddenly called her and begged for help. It was Moegi's first solo surgery and when she opened the patient panic overtook her rational mind and she told a nurse to call her sensei.

Sakura was ecstatic to hear someone finally decided to provide her some action, how she wished to be in a surgery herself._ Literally,_ because after a few seconds of talking with her nervous intern Sakura's water broke. Being the challenge taking female she was, Sakura refused to let Moegi down, she was going to help her even if it meant giving birth to her little toddler right in her own living room.

It still hurt as hell.

"Ye – _ah_, crap - s, good. Now tell me the ne – _aaa_! – next step. " It hurt, it hurt , it _freaking_ hurt! The female leaned against her brown sofa, elbows propped up, phone call still going on.

Sasuke walked innocently into the living room area, with a soda in his right hand. He passed half the distance to the kitchen when suddenly his legs encountered something slippery, he lost his balance, the drink fell down.

"No, Moegi – _aah!_ – e_..everything_ is good! Tell me his vitals." Sasuke quirked his eyebrows, Sakura looked as if she was in a lot of pain, moreover why was she having a phone call when she was obviously having a hard time. It would be better to do something against it. He also noted to remove this weird, transparent liquid spread over the floor.

"Sakura, what is that –" Sasuke pointed at said liquid – "and why are you talking through the phone when you are clearly in pain?" He just knew her answer would be more than crazy.

The pinkette looked over her shoulder, her focus was divided between him and the phone call; multitasking, she was panting. Sasuke was officially worried.

"_The hell_ is wro_ –_"

"My water broke, here - Sakura threw her car keys at Sasuke, he however was too stunned which resulted in him getting a bulge on his forehead – " are my keys. Go and prepare, we'll depart in a - another painful cry – _minute.._!

"Good, now as for the blood – _Sasuke_! Don't stare dumbly at me, car keys you twerp!" Sakura let out calming breaths, it hurt, _hurt_, hurt!

"No, no Moegi. Concentrate on the surgery." She leaned back against the sofa, one leg a few inches behind the other.

Sasuke seemed to finally catch on Sakura's words. He picked up the car keys and moved over to the pinkette in a swift. Sakura had never seen him showing so many emotions on his features before, she imagined how Itachi would be looking like. A sudden urge to laugh filled her being; still the hormones.

"We need to go to the hospital!" Sasuke was waving his hands frantically in front of Sakura's face. Was she insane or what?!

"In a minute, I need to supervise Moegi through this."

Another stare at the pink haired soon to- be mother. Mh-hmm, she certainly was insane.

"Good! Now there's _ju_ – _owww_! **Ow**, _ow_ ow! " The female leaned over the sofa, crap the contractions had begun.

"I don't get this whole birth procedure, but I am sure you are minutes away from giving birth on your very own floor, Sakura!" Sasuke moved inches closer to her, he wanted to just take and toss her into a car. " We need to get you into a - "

"I SWEAR, if you touch this phone I'm gonna have this baby right here and then BEAT YOU WITH IT!" Sasuke moved instantly backwards. Was there a higher comparison to insane? He would bet Sakura was the living proof for that.

"You're insane, we have to go." Sasuke was frustrated, he needed to get Sakura into a hospital. Maybe he should call Itachi for help? _Oh_, he would rather not; his Aniki would just imprison him for his incompetence at handling this situation. Perhaps Shisui? Nah, he would laugh or get the baby punch.

"Be quiet Sasuke, the deal was after I give birth to my little baby I can go back to work!" Sakura hissed trough the phone, hopefully Moegi did not hear it. Sakura did not know but everyone in the O.R were drop sweating and did not dare to speak.

"I believe it was after, not during." A new voice spoke, Sakura let out another pained scream, Sasuke wanted to just vanish and Itachi stood in the threshold, impassively evaluating the scene. His mind was comprehending, he needed a plan.

"Sakura give me this damn phone and let's head over to the hospital already!" Sasuke wanted to maintain his last drop of dignity, to no avail however.

"Everyone back off!" Her voice was filled with rage and Sasuke did as insisted. Itachi just shook his head. His wife was a wandering time bombe in her current state, he decided to wait and head out when she was ready, that is as long as he did not deem it necessary to kidnap her sooner; in case the baby decided to make his or her existence known sooner than expected.

"Moegi, y.. you did it!" Sakura let out calming breaths " Good, we will talk later. Bye!" Sakura tossed her phone on the bed and leaned against, the now closer stationed, Sasuke. "Yay, I managed to supervise a surgery!" She declared all happy- go- lucky.

Sakura was obviously tired, her panting was getting irregular and louder, Itachi walked over to her. He and Sasuke guided her to the car. The later seemed on the verge of exploding.

"Congratulations, baby's arm is sticking out, why don't you high-five it?" Sasuke decided they both were insane; how could any sane person find this whole _something_ funny!? Itachi smirked.

"I'm in pain. One more smirk or sarcastic remark and you both are dead." The two males decided to stay silent, it would be better for both Sakura and the baby.

Itachi peeked at Sasuke, his little Otouto seemed to have undergone some harsh hours. He would never admit it but work was far more appealing than a hormone driven, nevertheless still very deeply loved, wife. He had nothing against putting Sasuke into the crossfire though, Itachi needed to give him a 'thank you' gift.

Perhaps he should buy him a first class ticket to New York City? He seemed to be in desperate need of a one month vacation.

Yes, that would be fitting. The older male closed the passenger door and strolled over to the driver's one. Itachi smirked, Sasuke did not know about it, but he was indeed aware of the NYI. A vacation there would certainly be nostalgic for his dear Otouto.

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Okay! I wrote this after looking at an older episode of 'Desperate Hosuewife's' . That moment with the 'baby beating' & 'high five it' was just legendary! So, yes I used it in this oneshot, it matched my idea of this oneshot ^ω^

- Doujin


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